Monday, December 28, 2009

12.28.09 Good Samaritan becomes Lycanthrope

Let it be known that "no good deed goes unpunished".    Also, go out to Macy's and purchase the Alfani brand of men's jeans.

Gross, yes, but I know that some of you really wanted to see the bite.

Last night, while dressed in Hello Kitty fuzzy PJs, I answered the door to my neighbor whose name now escapes me.  She has 2 houses.  One which lies diagonally across the street from us that is supposed to serve as a rent house and another somewhere else.  This rent house has been abandoned almost as long as I have lived here.  It has a pool.  A nasty, stinky, murky pool that breeds mosquitos year-round.

It has long been decided that this nice woman might be lacking in common sense.  Last night she rings our door bell because she:
1. Forgot the keys to the rent house
2. Dropped her keys to her car & other house into the pool
3. Lost her cellphone

She comes banging on the door asking for a long pole with a magnet.  I guess because everyone has one of these (actually, I wouldn't be surprised if we did have one of these). Being 30 degrees outside, I invite her into my home where I offer my phone to call for help.  She didn't know any of the phone numbers so I had to look all of them up online.  I also had to dial all of these numbers because my phone is confusing.  Andrew comes out and says he has some rake-like tool that might get the keys out.

Andrew stands by the 5 foot end of the pool with a maglight and the rake.  Our neighbor is supposed to be holding one TIGHT to the leases of her two dogs.  She forgets the damn keys to the house but was able to bring 2 large dogs to it? Anyway, just as Andrew is retrieving the keys, he gets bitten hard on the back of his thigh by one of the evil dogs.  The neighbor didn't even cry out a warning.

I am told that this dog is a "Chickensh*t" since he didn't have the courage to bit Andrew in front.  Fortunately the dog did not puncture the skin, but he did snap pretty hard and left some gnarly bruises and abrasions.  The Macy's jeans do not even have teeth marks or holes in them.  Fido did have all of his shots updated in October so we should be good but I have noticed that Andrew has started to howl and scratch more than usual . . .


  1. So I will be the only one to ask...What is a Lycanthrope? I realize that I could ask Mr. Webster and not embarrase myself,,,but, I thought that my asking would save other readers the embarrassment. signed, anonymous

  2. "I have noticed that Andrew has started to howl and scratch more than usual..."

    Lycanthrope means werewolf. :)


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