Monday, May 2, 2011

How to Properly Eat a Cupcake

You know those books called If You Give a Mouse a Cookie or If You Give a Cat a Cupcake?

I am going to write:

If You Give the Bear an Easter Dessert

Hum.  What is this lovely creation?  Perhaps I shall taste it.  Oh and just dab a bit on my nose for good measure.

First, make sure you grab the cupcake properly.  That means placing your hand on top of the cupcake.  This ensures that you have proper icing coverage on your hand.

There.  See?  Hand is fully covered in icing.  Perfect.

Now, perform a little taste test.
Then clap hands together to make sure both hands are adequately covered in icing.

It is imperative that you do not get distracted from cupcake consumption by anything or anyone.  That includes mommy.  Cut that out Mama as I am doing important eating right now!

If possible, try to insert your entire fist into your mouth.  It is the best way to eat the icing and cupcake. Again, try not to become distracted by anything.  That also includes Daddy who is snapping photos.

Well, perhaps it is okay to do one pose for the camera.  

After shoving the entire cupcake into your mouth, be sure to go back and get all of the small pieces.  

Here I am devising a plan of cupcake attack.

When tackling a cupcake, try to look dainty while eating it.  No one likes a Little Miss Mess.

A small amount of crumbs on the lips, chin, cheeks, nose, and forehead are okay.
Smearing extra icing into the tray as well as your hair is also appropriate.

Be sure to guard your cupcake from nosey puppies.  Sophie Dog, you cannot have my cupcake.

As you approach the final stages of cupcake consumption, be sure that EVERYTHING within 10 feet of you in has cupcake crumbs and icing on it.  This lets the cook and host know that you really really really enjoyed their baking.  Make sure that the chair, tray, and even the walls have some evidence of cupcake.

My work is done.  My cupcake masterpiece is complete.



  1. I'll be sure to follow your instructions to the nth degree, Ellie:-)


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