Death by Chocolate

Well, there is really no good way to say this so I am just going to spit it out.

I am giving up chocolate for Lent. Yes, you heard me.  I am giving up chocolate.  That includes white, milk, and dark chocolate in all forms.

As it turns out, the pharmaceutical insert for nortriptyline was correct in that it "increases appetite, especially for sweets".  No, they are not kidding.  M&Ms are not safe around me.  I have been on this lovely tricyclic antidepressant for postpartum depression for about a month now.  In that time I have managed to look even more pregnant now than what I did post-partum and this is with me adopting a Zone-like diet (think glycemic index) over the past few weeks.

Has this medication helped the post-partum depression?  It has! Andrew's thought is that even though I am fat, I will at least be happy.  Um not exactly.  Is it possible to replace post-partum depression with body-insecurity-overweight depression?  It seems that the weight gain as a result of increased appetite goes to the middle and nowhere else.  No amount of baby-hefting, stroller walking, and dog/cat chasing can counteract this weight gain.  I sort of look like someone with Cushings Disease--the result of increase cortisol.  I am just waiting for the insulin-resistance to kick in.  

After increasing exercise and analyzing & modifying my diet over the past few weeks, I have discovered that chocolate seems to be my main downfall.

Step 1: Remove all forms of chocolate from house immediately.  ---Check!
Step 2: Master the art of going through grocery store and checkout lines with out purchasing chocolate--Laura help me with the will power.
Step 3: Repeat the mantra "chocolate is bad for you.  chocolate is evil".  Hum, still want the M&Ms.
Step 4: Well, I do not really have a step 4.  Help please!


By the way, Ellie Bear is 5 months old today!!!!  She is getting so big.  More on that in the next post.