Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Stay At Home Moms Eat Bonbons. All Day.

Many of my non married, non-mommy friends ask me just what it is I do all day with all of my free time.  I scoff and say "Free time?  What is that?" and "I eat bonbons while watching my 3 soap operas, of course!".

Mommy's bonbon.

That's right ladies, I sit on my tuckus all day long in front of the televisions with bonbons.  Then I take nice, long luxurious bubble baths.  Complete with wine, of course.  Okay, in all seriousness, I am lucky if I get to pee by myself. Yep, for real.  If Toddler Bear and the menagerie of fur babies are not hanging with me in the bathroom, I end up with tiny little fingers under the door and a "mamamamamama!"
 and "Meow!" scratch-scratch.  Alone time is rare.  As is sitting down.  Oh and getting to eat a meal without sticky little fingers with long grasps grabbing at my food on the plate. . .

Her arms are longer than they look.  They can reach just about anything.

Here is what really happens for all of you non-mommy friends out there.  Mama Bears, you know exactly what I am talking about!

The (early) morning:

First, I wake up at a completely ridiculous hour because my daughter inherited the very-early-riser gene from my father.  There is breakfast complete with food throwing and Nutella in the hair and a whole lot of coffee (for me, no coffee for the hyper toddler bear). Then there is the battle to wipe down the Bear and then brush Ellie's hair.  I do this in her high chair with a ton of detangler because I do not want her to escape.

I admit that I stick my kid in front of Signing Time! so that I may get dressed and slap on some concealer so as not to scare anyone with my horrific sleep-deprived looks.  I may even let her watch the whole episode while I check my email and check Facebook in case I happened to miss a very important status update.

Then we rush off to therapy #1.  This is either music, speech, or occupational therapy.  Upon arriving to our destination, we do a some pre-therapy heavy work and tooth brushing so that Ellie Bear can focus about 50% of her attention on the therapist.   (If it is Wednesday, we have playgroup!  This is the BEST part of the whole week and the closest I get to eating bonbons.  It is a chance for Ellie to play with peers while I get to carry on an adult conversation with adults!)

Lunch time!  A repeat of breakfast, but typically with peanut butter crackers and raisins because that is ALL the chunky chicken is eating right now.  I scarf down a Zone bar in which Ellie pitches a fit because apparently she wants a Zone bar too.  I break off a piece, she tastes it, and then hurls it.  Nevermind, peanut butter crackers it is.  While she is in her high chair, we practice her consonant cards.

Nap Time!  Ah, the best part of the day.  The part where I drink more coffee and deal with insurance companies.  The part where I fill out forms for partial reimbursement of the 30,000 therapies my child is in. The part where I cut out and laminate various educational flashcards or PECs.  The part where I contact x,y, and z -ologist (ENT, endocrine, cardio, etc) and set up follow-up appointments or discuss Ellie's incessant spitting up.  Nap time is the time I could really use some bonbons as I am often on hold and listening to annoying elevator music and then hitting a gazillion prompts before I am in contact with a real live, breathing person.  Sometimes, if I am feeling especially productive, I get the bathrooms cleaned :-)

Toddle Bear wakes up fully re-energized.  I try to spend some time teaching her important things like colors, shapes, how to build a tower, how to point, how to make sounds, and whatnot.  Sometimes she is a willing participant and other days she isn't.  I also try to take her to a park to let off some steam before her afternoon therapy.  During that time, I try my best to not have a heart attack as she climbs up the playscape and rushes down the slide.

Rushing off to therapy #2.  This is either ABA therapy or developmental therapy.  We do a repeat of the heavy work and tooth brushing.  If it is ABA therapy, I get to sit in the waiting room for some of the session and read.  You know, read a book or a magazine AND sit.  Pure bliss.

You all know the drill--make dinner (in go out to dinner which we do half the week since I am a horrible cook).  Eat dinner.  Clean up dinner. Teach Bear how to eat using a fork/spoon. Also add in corralling Ellie into the bathtub and attempting to get all food remnants from hair.  Then we start the bedtime routine.

Fortunately, the Bear goes to bed early so I do get a few hours with Andrew (and to do laundry) before I get to hit the sack.  It is also when I finally get to shower--that's right, uninterrupted "me" time!

I believe my day is more busy now than it was back when I worked full-time.  While I would love to eat some bonbons, I wouldn't trade my days with Ellie for anything.  Staying home with her is more full-filling than any job.  After all, I am there to receive all of her hugs and snuggles.  I am there to comfort her when she falls.  I was there when she took her first step and uttered her first word.  I cannot imagine not being with her.



  1. From one bon-bon mom to another...LOVE this!

  2. I cracked up laughing just at the title! I have a lot of family that think that is all I do...I will admit that I DVR a soap or two but that is watched late at night during laundry or during naps :-) (it is one of my guilty pleasures)

  3. I love this post! You nailed it on the head! I have been staying home with my 2 girls for the last year and it is DEFINATELY much harder and more tiring than when I was actually working.

    Hive five for stay at home mamas!!!

  4. Yes, I love this, too. I can't believe that when I was pregnant with my first, I was actually worried that I'd be bored staying at home with my kiddo. I had all these fantasies about shopping while my baby smiled happily at me from the stroller. Hah! That wasn't close to reality. Great post.

  5. This cracks me up. Today, this is how I feel. My Ellie ONLY naps during my running time, though!

  6. Somehow my sleep-deprived concealer-smeared, pony-tailed to hide the lack of shower self laughed and almost cried at this post. Ha! Bon bons indeed!

  7. My husband is the stay-at-home parent in the family, and I know he used to feel completely overwhelmed sometimes. Lots to do, and I'm the one with the luxury of going to a full-time day job and actually talking to grown ups every day. :-) On the weekends we reverse the process, but I will definitely tell you, the point at which you are able to take a shower without worrying what she's up to (we have a gate at the top of the stairs, so she just plays on her own in her room or comes into the bathroom to say hi) is absolutely AWESOME.


  8. I can't say what it will be like with Kamdyn, since she is only 2. But, Madison and Austin are about 20 months apart, and I babysat one other child while they were very small, and it was CRAZY! It was non-stop. Now, they are 4 and 5, and guess what. They actually sit and play independently, and with eachother, of course. In the morning, I usually put in a movie or tv while I take a shower. I haven't cleaned marker off the wall or toilet water off the floor in a long time lol. I know that is all about to change soon as Kamdyn's hits those stages, so I am enjoying it now. Anyway, I just wanted to offer that little bit of hope. A day may come when you have some time to eat that bonbon.

  9. I love this post, and I'm not even a stay at home mom! Don't get me wrong, I can't wait until I can quit my job and be with my boy all day, but it is definitely work!

  10. Love this!! I hate that you have to pay for SO much therapy!! My mom keeps telling me that we are blessed to be in CA for that reason. I am thinking she is right. I have often wondered what it is like in different states.

    LOVE the pictures of Ellie. What a blessing she is.

  11. LOVE this! Love your blog and your writing. Too funny! :-)


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